I've decided the new mommy wars aren't working mothers versus non-working mothers but mothers of "gifted and talented" kids versus the rest of us poor schlubs. I can't tell you how many women in my circle dine out on Junior's awards, starring roles, and fabulous SAT scores. Oh, and did she mention that Little Precious is also a violin prodigy? And a math genius?
Often this bragging is couched in the sheer difficulty of it all: the exhaustion of touring top-flight colleges, the difficulty of fitting in all those award ceremonies, the problem of finding enough challenges in the fifth grade curriculum for their oh-so bright little darling. But it's bragging all the same.
I have one nice, average kid and one hard-working dyslexic kid who struggles to read. The only awards these two are going to win is "Most Episodes of Lost Downloaded" and "Most Bags of Cheetos Consumed in Two Days."
I kind of miss the 19th century (at least as depicted in literature), when moral qualities such as kindness, generosity, and yes, even humility, were more valued and avidly sought than straight A's and the top soccer team are today.
Maybe some of these "gifted and talented" kids would be a little easier to like if that were the case.
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3 comments:
Amen, sister. Seems to me that, in keeping with our glorious free-market-based culture, parents are increasingly the "customers" of the schools, both public and private. As customers, they want value. They want the bragging rights a gifted kid confers. And so, more and more, they get that. Over half of the kids in my son's school were designated as gifted and eligible for "enriched curriculum." Not that there ever was any.
Ah, yes. Your forgot to mention the saving grace of at least some time in a Waldorf School community, where there is no such thing as grades and where, in theory anyway, students are met "where they are." I'm so glad to see your rants again, dear Lamb!
Lynette, love the Mommy Wars piece and the one about your mom brought tears to my eyes.
Mommy Wars: Yeah. Thank you for the reminder... it can be easy to get too caught up and focused on the wrong things. Your piece is a reminder to honor our good instincts about our children and tune out that other noise... be it sports or academics, and let them enjoy the journey of growing up to be the people they were meant to be.
Your mother: I love the line about her not having a vain bone in her body. I have a few too many vain bones in my body (I'd collapse if they were removed!) but I hope I can still raise some girls to be as whole and healthy, funny and confident as Marge's girls!
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